Redux
by skygirl55
Summary: What if Kate was never shot at Montgomery's Funeral? 3x24 & S4 AU
1. Chapter 1

**Redux**

 _What if Kate was never shot at Montgomery's Funeral? 3x24 & S4 AU_

* * *

 **Author's Disclaimer** : This was written in 2014 and I kind of forgot about it, but I'm posting it now per request. The story's a little odd at times; please keep that in mind while reading. There are 8 chapters

* * *

 **ONE**

For many people, the clear beautiful sky and low-seventies temperatures on the day of Montgomery's funeral seemed a cruel joke, but not for Richard Castle. Castle liked funerals on pleasant days—not that there was anything to really like about a funeral, but if there was, agreeable weather was on his list. To him, a funeral on a beautiful day was a sign that the deceased had found happiness and contentment after moving on to whatever came after life on earth. It was a sign that, despite a tragic end, they had found peace.

The funeral, like the days leading up to it, had been difficult, though he would have been lying if he did admit to finding the slightest glimmer of hope in it. The words from her eulogy resonated in his mind hours after she spoke them. _If you're very lucky, you find someone willing to stand with you_.

That someone was him; he was certain of it beyond any doubt. He'd known it for months—that as her partner on the job and off he would stand by her to the bitter end. After their fight in her apartment the night before Montgomery's death, his seamless belief in that notion faltered, but when she looked at him as she spoke those words, he knew that deep down there was a part of her that believed in them as well.

She needed time and that was fine. He would wait for her so long as he knew there was something to wait for. Sitting in the Montgomery family home after the funeral, he waited for a chance to pull her aside and speak with her. Perhaps it was not the best time, but he simply could not go another second; the twisting in his gut was too much.

Castle had sent his mother and Alexis home after the funeral itself, just as Kate had done with her father. The wake was an all cop affair and any outsiders would have felt simply that: entirely out of place. Though he had not been issued a badge in any official capacity, he had been through enough shoot-outs, bombings, and perp chases to earn himself a lifetime guest pass into the officer's cub.

After yet another round of "Best of Montgomery" stories, Castle was able to flag Kate down and usher her out onto the front porch of the home. She had her hat tucked under her arm and had loosened the top button of her collar, but otherwise looked as professional as she had at the funeral.

"Listen, I," he began, leaning against the porch railing with one hand, "I just wanted to check with you to make sure you're alright."

She looked at him. "Montgomery's dead, Castle. And I'm-"

"It wasn't your fault," he said quickly, knowing that was the direction her thoughts were headed. "There was nothing you could have done."

"Maybe," she said, turning her gaze out into the yard, where Montgomery's youngest daughter sat beside one of her cousins, pulling blades of grass of out the lawn one at a time.

Swallowing hard, he brought up the subject he was most dreading. "About that night in your apartment. The things I said. I just wanted you to-"

"Look Castle," she cut him off as she turned back to face him. "Maybe you were right; maybe you were wrong. Maybe we both were. The thing is at this point I'm honestly not sure about anything at this point, except that this has to stop."

Thinking she meant their partnership, Castle felt a fresh sheen of sweat form instantly across his forehead. "Kate, I know you're upset with me but I just-"

"I'm not upset with you."

"You're…not?"

She shook her head. "I know you were afraid for my life and that you were trying to say anything to get me to stop. Like usual, you said the completely wrong thing." As she turned away from him, he caught a wry half smile crossing her face.

He thought a moment before speaking. Yes, he had been desperately trying to get her to stop as he was genuinely afraid for her life, but he had most certainly meant all the things he said, though admitted he could have said them in a gentler manner. "So…you don't want to stop our partnership?"

She glanced back to him. "You know what I want—need—to stop Castle? _Everything_ to do with my mother's murder. And I really want you to hear me when I say this: I'm done. Montgomery was somehow involved and lost his life because of it—because of my digging. So I'm done; I won't let this thing take anyone else from me."

Castle considered her words for a moment. If she wanted him to back off, he would one-hundred percent, but he was afraid that she wouldn't abide by her own decree. "I hear you Kate and I won't bring the subject up again; I won't do any more research but…are you sure this is what you really want?"

"It has to be," she replied simply. She took a deep breath and turned her body to face his, her hip resting against the railing of the porch. "Listen, Castle I'm going to need some time. Time to process everything. Time to grieve. Time to move past my mother's murder. And I think I need to do that alone."

He nodded, instinctively taking a step back. "Right. You want some space—I totally-"

"No, I need some time. And space. I'm not closing the door on our partnership, Castle, but I do need a hiatus."

Castle nodded and took a slow breath in through his nose. Okay. Hiatus. He could handle that. Considering he was prepared for her to slam the door and bolt it shut as he tried to claw his way through, this was certainly a preferable alternative.

"Okay, a hiatus; I can do that," he said. "Actually, it's good timing. I have a Nikki Heat book tour coming up soon so-"

"How long will that be?" she asked.

"Well the publisher said eight weeks but I-"

"Eight weeks, sounds good. I'll, uh, call you when you're back and we…we can see where things are."

Hearing her Kate-is-not-to-be-argued-with tone, Castle respected the aura of the funeral and did not challenge her. "Right. Okay, Kate. I'll see you when I get back." He turned, took a step to leave, but paused and looked back over his shoulder at her. "You know if you need anything or want to talk before then…"

"I'll be fine, Castle," she said curtly. Then added, "Have a nice book tour," before going back inside the house.

* * *

 **A/N** Because this story is kind of silly and not well plotted out, I'll post a chapter a day

Also thanks to the Twitter ladies (you know who you are) for more or less insisting I post this - this is for you :)


	2. Chapter 2

**TWO**

A nice quiet afternoon of paperwork was exactly what the doctor ordered for Kate. Their previous case of a road rage murder of a father of three had been emotionally grueling, but thankfully, at least for the prior twenty-four hours, the criminals of Manhattan had taken a mutually agreed upon vacation. Yes, paperwork was monotonous and, in general, she was an in-the-field type girl, but every once and a while it was a more than welcome break.

Glancing up at the sound of laughter, she spotted Ryan and Esposito huddled at Esposito's desk looking at something together. From their hunched posture, Kate assumed it was something on one of their cell phones. Feeling the need to stretch her legs, she stood and walked the few feet to Espo's seat. "You ladies got something you want to share?"

They both looked up at her with caught-by-mom expressions. "No," the replied in unison.

"Really?"

"Seriously, Beckett; it's nothing. It's just a text from Castle," Esposito explained, setting his phone down on the desk.

Kate's ears perked at the mention of the man she had not seen in seven weeks. She had not seen him, but saying she hadn't thought of him would have been a total lie. He had crossed her mind quite frequently. In fact, she was acutely aware of the fact that the last date on his book tour was six days away—not that she had been checking the calendar on his website regularly, or anything.

"Castle?" she asked, attempting to sound uninterested. "What's he up to? Still on his book tour?"

"I guess," Ryan responded. "Espo was just razzing him about the Mets."

Kate nodded. "I see. You tell him about the new captain?"

"What's to tell?" Esposito responded. "We don't meet her until today."

"I know but it might be nice to just mention it to him—that we're getting one," Kate said.

"Why don't you tell him yourself," Esposito challenged.

She shrugged innocently and returned to her desk. "You're already talking to him."

Esposito and Ryan exchanged looks. "I guess Mom and Dad are still fighting," Ryan said in tone that was subtle, but still loud enough for her to hear.

"What's that Kevin?" she challenged, staring at him over her computer monitor.

"Nothing…But you'd tell us if Castle wasn't coming back, right?" Ryan asked.

"He's on his book tour—I'm not in control of that," she responded simply. "I just-"

Kate's thought was interrupted by a stern looking black-haired woman in a conservative business suit walking through their squad room and directly into Captain Montgomery's former office. A moment later, she emerged and commanded the attention of the room, introducing herself as Captain Victoria Gates.

Kate, Ryan, and Esposito already knew who she was, of course. As soon as she was announced as Montgomery's replacement, they'd found out as much about her as they could through Google and the NYPD grapevine. Word on the street was that she was tough and not very personable.

Determined to make a good first impression, Kate walked up to the woman and introduced herself immediately.

"Nice to finally meet you Detective Beckett. I've heard many good things. And this must be your team," Gates said, glancing at the two men hovering behind her with overly polite smiles on their faces.

"Only three-quarters of my team, Ma'am. This is Ryan and Esposito; we're missing Castle," Kate informed her without any further though.

"Let's get one thing straight, Detective," Gates said, her tone turning sharp. "My mother is a "ma'am." You will call me captain or Sir."

"Ah," Kate stammered, taking aback by this. She glanced over at Ryan and Esposito, who seemed equally confused before saying, "Yes…Sir."

"Good." With that, Gates walked back into her office and shut the doors.

Kate turned back around as Esposito whistled a disbelieving whistle. "Yikes," Ryan added.

"Yeah," Kate sighed. "Sounds like this is going to be fun."

* * *

One week later, Kate was back on familiar stomping grounds: an alley in midtown, staring down at the body of a young girl with a slashed throat. She was the second young girl found in that area with the same manner of death in a week, but it was too soon to tell if the cases were related.

"Lanie, make sure you check her hands for any defensive wounds and-"

"Ah! I sure have missed the smell of alley garbage. You know, that scent is really unique to New York—you just can't get it on the west coast." The six-foot-one writer announced as he ducked under the police tape and approached the scene.

"Why didn't you tell me he was back?" Lanie asked her friend quietly.

"I didn't know," Kate muttered. "What are you doing here Castle?"

He pressed his hand to his chest and gasped dramatically. "You say that like you don't want me!"

"No, I say that like I'm confused," she corrected. "How did you find me?"

"A writer never reveals his secrets."

"Those are magicians. Try again."

"I was on my way to the Twelfth, saw a bunch of squad cars and stopped," he responded simply. "So whada we got?"

* * *

Half an hour later, Kate and Castle returned to the precinct together. He had not stopped talking the entire time, telling her all about each and every stop on his book tour. He was on his second story about who got a Nikki Heat tattoo and where when they arrived at her desk. Since she had not had time to mentally prepare herself for his arrival, Kate was trying her best to remain focused on the case, and not on the enthusiastic author.

"Oooh!" he said upon sight of the murder board. "Is this a serial case?"

"I hope not," Esposito responded as he tacked the picture of the latest victim on the empty side of the board. "But it may be."

"Detective Beckett, I—what's going on here?" Gates asked when she approach, glazing her eyes across Castle's frame.

"Ah, Sir, this is Richard Castle," Kate managed the introductions. "Castle this is Captain Gates."

"Pleasure," Castle said, reaching out his hand with an ear-to-ear grin.

Gates shook it suspiciously before turning to Kate. "Detective? A word?" Kate glanced at Ryan and Esposito, who were both cringing, before following Gates.

Inside her office, Gates gestured for Kate to have a seat as she walked around behind her desk. "Detective, I'm going to be straight with you. I have not lived under a rock for the past three years. I've heard all the stories about your team and Mr. Castle; but, quite frankly, this precinct is not the place for a civilian, let alone a debutante writer posing as a wannabe cop."

Kate felt her gut clench. "But Sir, Castle is part of my team. He has been integral in-"

She was interrupted by Esposito knocking on the door and poking his head in the office. "Excuse me—sorry to interrupt, but I think Castle has something on this case."

Kate turned her eyes from Esposito to Gates before walking out into the main squad room. Gates followed her and they joined the three men in front of the whiteboard.

Once his audience had arrived, Castle began speaking. "These marks on the victim's hands—they're partials, but I've seen them before."

"We ran Victim One's hand stamp through our database and nothing came up," Gates informed him.

"Forgive me, Captain, but is your database a complete database? Because I'm fairly certain that if you put these stamps together, you will come up with the image for the backroom of _Heat_ a, ah," he cleared his throat, "gentlemen's club. Not the entry stamp, mind you, but the secondary stamp you get to go in the back room."

"And what, pray tell, happens in this back room?" Gates asked.

"Poker," Castle responded simply, looking over to Kate. After she stared at him for another few seconds he confessed, "And there may also be strippers."

"Are you saying that these two girls were strippers?" Gates questioned. "The first victim was a PhD candidate at New York University."

"Not necessarily strippers," Castle informed her. "The dealers also get their hands stamped."

"I see," Gates said in a slow tone indicating consideration. "I suppose that means it warrants looking into this _Heat_ place. Why don't-"

"Great! Castle and I will go check it out while Ryan and Esposito interview Victim two's family," Kate announced. She grabbed onto the sleeve of Castle's blazer and turned him towards the exit without turning back to gauge Gate's response.

* * *

Two days later Kate had closed yet another case thanks to her team. After discovering both girls worked at _Heat_ and interviewing the other employees, it did not take too much difficulty to link a jealous stripper to the tragic demise of the two young women. She had wanted to advance from stripper to dealer for better pay, and had enlisted her boyfriend to take care of those standing in her way.

As the boys boxed up the postings on their murder board for storage, Kate went directly to Gates to plead her case. "Sir, as you saw, Castle was an integral part of-"

Gate's held up her hand to silence the younger woman. "Save it, Detective. No matter what you say, you are not going to convince me that you could not have solved this case without Mr. Castle's assistance."

"I'm not saying that, Sir, but I am certain it would have taken more time and resources without his help," Kate said simply. Taking a step towards the captain, she continued. "Please, just give him a chance and you'll see—you'll see how vital he is." Noticing her still skeptical look, Kate added. "A six week trial. Six weeks and you'll see."

Gates sighed heavily and stepped around her desk. "Detective, I understand you've achieved a certain amount of…notoriety, shall we say, due to Mr. Castle's works, but we all work as a team here."

Kate blinked at her, hardly believing what she was saying. "Sir, I assure you I don't want to keep Castle around to further my own fame. Quite, the opposite in fact. You're right—we are a team. Esposito, Ryan, Castle and myself are a team. We each bring something unique to the table and if you would take one of the four of us away, that team just wouldn't be the same. In time, I'm sure that you'll come to see that as well."

Gates stared her down for a full minute before giving a curt nod. "Alright, Detective. Based solely on your case closure rate alone, I will give Mr. Castle six weeks to prove himself worth, but I must warn you that you have a very difficult road ahead of you."

Kate nodded and smiled. "Thank you, Sir."

Gates gave her a warning glanced. "Don't thank me yet, Detective."

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 **A/N** \- thank you all so much for your reviews/follows


	3. Chapter 3

**THREE**

For Richard Castle, there was nothing out of the ordinary about how his evening began. In fact, for the first time in months it felt like he was finally getting back to normal. He'd spent the day at the precinct—the day with Beckett—and had been pivotal in solving yet another one of her cases. True, the Twelfth didn't have quite the same feel without Montgomery, but the gang was back together, and to him that's what really mattered.

Sitting on the couch with his iPad, Castle focused his favorite game of the moment as ESPN played in the TV across from him. He should have been writing, or at least jotting down notes from that day's case, but inspiration just wasn't coming to him. He still had a few weeks before his next set of chapters were due to the publisher, which meant he had plenty of time—plenty of time to beat his high score, that was.

A knock at the door distracted him enough that his character ran off the edge of a wooden bridge and died. Grumbling under his breath, he set the iPad aside and walked to the door, curious who was there. He was pleasantly surprised to find his partner-slash-muse when he opened it.

"Beckett! Come in, please." He stepped aside and ushered her in.

She stepped through the door and gave him a half smile. "I hope I'm not interrupting anything important."

"Of course not," he said, laughing. When did he ever do anything that would classify as "important?"

"I, uh, I just…I wanted to talk, if you had a minute," she said as she tucked a chunk of hair behind her ears.

Castle nodded and ushered her towards the couch. He turned off the TV and sat down beside her. He could tell she seemed uncertain, nervous, but he wasn't sure what about. He'd barely been seated a few seconds when she blurted out, "I broke up with Josh."

"O-oh," he responded, taken aback by her unexpected confession. His mind began to spin. Did that mean—no, he wouldn't let himself think it. Not prematurely. "D-did you just? Tonight, I mean? Or…?"

She shook her head. "No, a few weeks ago, actually," she confessed with a small smile. From her expression, he knew there was still more to the story. Feeling a bit more hopeful, he rested his forearms on his knees and waited for her to continue.

"After Montgomery's funeral I just…I needed some time. Time away from you—at least, that's what I thought I needed. I was upset and confused and I thought I needed a break," she explained, gazing off into the distance. Looking back to him, she continued. "While you were gone, I realized I needed time away from everyone; I needed to be alone. That's when I broke up with Josh. He was a great guy but…" she let her voice drift off.

"I tried to convince myself that I was fine by myself. That I didn't need you—or anyone—as a partner, because I was fine without a partner before you showed up three years ago. But…but then you came back and I knew I'd been lying. To everyone, but mostly to myself."

She smiled gently and skimmed her palms over her thighs, wiping off the perspiration. "Gates…Gates doesn't like you; she wants you gone. I-I made a deal with her to give you a six week trial."

"Six week trial? Please," he said with a flippant hand gesture. "I'll win her over no sweat." He joked to lighten the mood, seeing the stress on her face, but mostly he joked to relieve the tension building in his own gut, wondering if the conversation was truly going where it seemed to be headed.

She smiled briefly, but then shook her head. "The thing is… I thought about you, and Josh and, really, all the men that I had been with over the years. I thought about what would happen if I woke up tomorrow and everything changed. If I woke up and everything I knew was just gone…and when it came right down to it there has only ever been one person in my life that I couldn't live without seeing again." Looking him directly in the eye, she added. "Without seeing _every_ day."

His heart humming at near maximum speed, he sighed out her name as he placed one hand on her knee. She smiled and mirrored his action, reaching her right hand out to rest on the inside of his left knee before leaning into him and pressing their lips together briefly.

Unsatisfied with just one kiss—not after so much time—Castle brought his hands up to cradle her jaw and brought her lips back to his the moment they lost contact. In one second, he'd left the world of endless uncertainty and dove headlong into one of his dreams. He was kissing Kate Beckett, really, truly kissing her, and it was, without any doubt, the greatest moment of his life to date.

"Rick, wait," Kate said, pulling back after several moments.

"Is something wrong?" he asked, his brows knitting together across forehead.

She shook her head and almost laughed. For the first time in a very long time absolutely nothing was wrong. "No, it's just…I want to take this slow. I don't want to rush things. As much as we might want to, I don't want us diving into bed and then trying to sort out the pieces later on; I want to figure that stuff out first."

It would be one of the hardest things she ever did, she knew that. The fire, the burning desire she felt in her gut just kissing him was enough to destroy her. She wanted him—all of him—so much it was almost physically painful, but her head knew better than to give in to three years' worth of sexual tension in the blink of an eye.

She learned from experience that the tear-each-others-clothes-off types of romances tended to burn bright, but not for very long. They needed to see if they could work as a couple—a real romantic couple—first, because she knew once she gave herself to him—when she truly gave herself to him—and things didn't work out, her heart would be shattered beyond repair.

"Kate," he began, closing his hands around hers. "I don't want to rush you into anything, but it has been three years."

She smiled softly. "Yeah, three years, but three years of us bickering and arguing and you completely annoying me."

He looked at her, baffled. "That all sounds like foreplay to me."

Cocking her head to the side, she gave him one of her infamous Kate-Beckett-is-annoyed expressions. "But that's not the kind of relationship that's real—that's sustainable. I want us to go on dates and have dinner. C'mon Castle," she nudged him with her elbow. "I want you to woo me. Isn't this the thing you're supposed to be good at?"

"Oh, I am good at this," he assured her. "Very good. In fact, if there was a degree in wooing, I would have a PhD. I will woo you, Kate Beckett. I will woo the pants off you—literally," he added with a naughty eyebrow wiggle.

She rolled her eyes and gave him a slight shove. "Fantastic start, Castle."

"Alright, alright—you've had a long day at work so shoulder or foot massage? You choose," he said with a smile.

Her initial response was going to be to ask why there had to be an "or" but rolling her head from side to side she felt the tension in her shoulders built up from typing her arrest report and other case documents. If she had to choose one, the decision was obvious. "Shoulders."

"Great! I'll set up the table!" he said, standing from the couch immediately.

"What…table?"

"The massage table," he said in an isn't-it-obvious tone before walking towards his office.

Flummoxed, Kate stood and followed him. "You…have a massage table!? Who has a massage table? Other than an actual masseuse?"

"Of course I have my own massage table," he chuckled as thought it was the most average possession in the world. "Yeah, the massage therapists can bring a table, but it's so much easier to have your own, especially with the therapists I use."

Kate folded her arms over her chest as she watched him drag the table out of the closet in his office. "And what therapists would these be? Ones that also provide a happy ending?"

"Funny," he commented with notable sarcasm. He dragged the table into his bedroom through the door joining it with the office. After setting the table upright and retrieving a sheet from the linen closet in his bedroom, Castle made a sweeping gesture towards the table. "You can undress and get under the sheet. Promise I won't look," he added with a wink.

"Wow," she said blankly. "Five minutes—five minutes since we kissed and you're already trying to get me to strip. That must be some sort of record." Why, she wondered to herself. Why did she think being in a relationship with him was going to be any different than being in a work partnership with him? Why did she think the romantic relationship would add any level of maturity to him at all?

"I cannot give you a proper shoulder massage with your shirt on. I'm sorry, that's just not possible—I don't make the rules of massage," he explained, holding his hands up, palms out as he walked towards her. Ignoring her irritated expression, he pressed a kiss onto her cheek and whispered in her ear. "Whatsamatter Kate, don't you trust me?"

Sighing to herself, she stepped forward, crossed into the bedroom, and shut the office door behind her. Of course he had to throw that in her face. She trusted him implicitly in any and all life threatening situations; however, she was not sure how many liberties he would take with her naked upper torso, especially if he was trying to be amusing.

After taking off her boots, top and bra, she gathered her hair up into a messy bun at the crown of her head and lay face down on the massage table. She begrudgingly gave in to its comfort as she pulled the sheet up around the middle of her back. "You can come in now," she informed him.

The door opened almost instantly. "Excellent. Now tell me—do you see why I have my own massage table?"

She lifted her head from the headrest and turned it enough to gaze at him with one of her eyes. "I suppose," she admitted.

He beamed proudly before vanishing to the bathroom to retrieve his eucalyptus scented massage lotion. When he returned, he stood by the edge of the massage table and took a deep breath, allowing himself just one moment to fully bathe in the realization that Kate Beckett was topless in his bedroom. Though it wasn't nearly as salacious as it sounded, he could still see the creamy skin of her back, the muscle tone in her shoulders, and the hint of the curve of the side of her breasts. _Down boy_ , he told himself. _Tonight is not about you or Castle Junior; it's about her._

"So, Kate," he began as he rubbed a dollop of lotion on his fingertips and another on her upper back. "What's your theory on massages? Are you more a soft and gentle type of girl or do you prefer deep tissue?"

"Unless you're almost causing me pain, it's not worth my time," she responded.

He grinned. "Perfect."

It only took about thirty seconds of Castle kneading his fingertips into her trapezius muscles for Kate to melt into the table with a moan. So she had been skeptical of his massage skills at first, but he was proving her wrong with every stroke of his hand down that tense region between her spine and shoulder blade. Within minutes she had forgotten everything about that day's stresses and simply gave in to the relaxation.

As Castle finished the half hour massage, he pressed a kiss on to the top of her head and pulled the sheet up so that it rested at the base of her neck. "Are you awake?" he asked softly. She had been so quiet he wasn't sure if she was asleep or not.

She moaned indicating that she was, in fact, conscious, but made no attempt to move any part of her body. After a few more moments, she sighed. "Do I have to get up now?"

"Not right this second, but you will have to get up eventually."

With a heavy sigh, Kate reached her hands back, flipped them, and grabbed the edge of the sheet between her fingertips. She lifted her head to see that he was sitting on the edge of his bed, so she rotated her torso away from him and sat slowly, pulling the sheet around her as she did so. Once fully wrapped in the sheet, she sat on the edge of the table and twisted her body to face him.

Castle couldn't help but chuckle. "You look drugged."

"I feel drugged," she replied. "You're pretty damn good at that."

"You're welcome," he replied simply.

"Seriously. I'm going to have to schedule a regular appointment for that. Do you take cash or check?"

"Oh," he said, sliding off the bed and leaning on the other side of the table. He brought his face close to her and added, "I think we can work out a payment plan." With that, he kissed her sweetly.

When Castle ducked out of the room, Kate re-dressed and joined him in the office, where he was leaning back against his desk, staring at her in his ruggedly handsome way. "Listen, Castle," she began, "about us. I think…I think we should keep this to ourselves for now."

"Really?" He couldn't say he was absolutely stunned, but he was slightly disappointed, considering that he wanted to shout their coupledom from the rooftops.

She nodded. "Yes, for several reasons, first of which that the NYPD has a strict no dating policy and considering you're already on a six week trial with Gates…"

"Right, good point," he conceded. "But what about Ryan and Esposito? They'll figure it out, won't they?"

"Not if we don't act any differently. C'mon Castle," she said, wrapping her arms around his shoulders. He instinctively placed his hands at her hips. "Won't it be fun to just keep this to ourselves for a little while? Until we, you know, figure some things out."

Castle pressed his lips together and thought for a moment. "So…what you're saying is we cannot make out at your desk."

"NO!"

"Fine," he grumbled, but then he smiled quickly and kissed her. "Our relationship secret is safe with me."

* * *

 **Thanks to Travis for the cover art!**


	4. Chapter 4

**FOUR**

Kate couldn't believe it—she just couldn't believe it! It was her own fault, really; completely her own fault. Why had she thought that dating Castle would end in anything different than an explosion in her face? Things had been going so well—so well! Too well obviously; she should have seen the signs.

From the moment she left his apartment after the inaugural relationship massage, things between them went much better than she expected them to. They were more in sync on cases, finishing each other's thoughts more often than they ever had. Running case theory together had become more foreplay to them than before, and Kate constantly had to remind herself that she was not permitted to kiss him while they were at the precinct.

Even after spending the day with him, Kate found she was still excited to have him show up at her apartment for dinner or a glass of wine. Granted, that was mostly because she was excited to finally be able to kiss him and run her fingers through his hair, but she enjoyed reviewing the day with him just as much. Especially since they were finally able to say all the things they'd been holding in for so long.

Despite the thrill and excitement of those first kisses and touches, she was still glad to be sticking to her "taking things slow" plan. If they had jumped right into bed, that would have been all they thought about and those thoughts probably would have clouded their every discussion in those early weeks. Without the sex, they were able to have rational discussions (or, as rational as a discussion as one could have with Castle.)

The only down side of those first few weeks together was Gates's eagle eye upon them. It felt like every time she turned around, Gates was there, eavesdropping on what Castle said and observing his participation in the case. Kate found her gut clenching every time Gates was in earshot of one of Castle's outlandish ideas. She even tried to set him up on a few occasions so he could make a really intelligent, well-informed observation in front of her, but, per usual, he was too involved in his own wild theories to notice her prompts.

Around the fifth week she was beginning to lose hope that they'd get a case worthy of showing Castle's true talent. That was until a bizarre samurai sword wielding super hero case landed on her desk. Of course the mere prospect of a masked super hero-esque villain had Castle salivating with excitement, but fortunately his insights proved instrumental in solving the case.

When their killer was behind bars and Gates was doling out commendations to the team, she looked at him and said, "Well Mr. Castle, I guess you are smarter than you look," before glancing at Kate and walking away. As Castle griped about the backhanded compliment, Kate silently cheered, knowing that they had won the battle of the six week trial period. Naturally, Gates never said anything else about it, but that victory was enough for Kate.

Unfortunately, just two weeks later, all of Kate's excitement had vanished with the introduction of a second—and Gates preferred—consultant to her team: museum security specialist Serena Kaye. The prospect of another consultant was just plain insulting to Kate. She and her team were perfectly capable of handling the case of the murder and theft of the "Fist of Capitalism," but it seemed Serena was there to stay.

Castle hanging on her every theory made Kate physically nauseous, but for the most part a few sharp glances kept him in check. She kept her mouth shut when he seemed a little too eager to take Serena to dinner in order for them to sneak into her room, but watching him kiss her? That was completely unacceptable.

Kate's high of discovering damning evidence in Serena's possession vanished immediately when she opened the hotel room door and spotted her boyfriend's lips pressed against another woman's. The feeling was not unlike ten thousand needles piercing her gut at once and it was not one she was keen to repeat. Kate managed to resist the urge to cause too much pain as she cuffed the sexily dressed blonde and hauled her to the back of her cruiser. Fortunately, when they arrived at the twelfth, Ryan and Esposito had taken Serena to be processed, leaving Castle and Beckett to travel alone in the elevator.

The second the elevator doors shut, Kate shoved Castle into the elevator wall with her palms flat on his chest. "I cannot believe you kissed her!" she hissed.

Castle's jaw dropped and he squeaked, "Wha—I was just doing what you asked!"

"What I asked? What _I_ asked?! When did I ever say make out with her?"

"Distract! You said distract!"

"And you heard make out?"

Castle huffed out a quick breath through his nose. "I'm sorry, but I panicked. You were coming out of the room and I didn't want her to see you so I just kissed her—I wasn't thinking."

Kate turned away from him, crossing her arms over her chest and muttering, "Clearly."

"C'mon Kate it's not like it meant anything. I didn't enjoy it."

"Coulda fooled me."

Castle opened his mouth to respond instantly, but then paused for a moment and thought about the situation. "Wait, is this you being jealous?"

Kate turned towards him with a scathing look on her face. She opened her mouth to speak, but before she could, the elevator dinged, signaling their arrival on the proper floor. With a half-grunt, half-growl, she stepped off the elevator, prepared to interrogate Serena with every ounce of Detective Kate Beckett she possessed.

* * *

Kate had to admit she was significantly disappointed when Serena Kaye was not their killer, but since they were able to put the real killer behind bars, she decided to move past Kaye and turn her disappointment and irritation on Castle. She was naturally still quite angry about his kiss with another woman, but she was also angry at his accusation that she was jealous. Oddly, she was not angry with him for that particular comment, but at herself since he had been one hundred percent accurate in his observation.

Kate was not the jealous type. She swore up and down that she was not the jealous type. Then again, she realized, she had rare occasion to be jealous. Her beauty had drawn more than her fair share of men's attention over the years and once she had it, she was almost always the one backing off the relationship. Never once had she had to fight for someone's attention, particularly not Castle's attention—at least, not until Serena showed up.

Kate quickly realized that jealousy was not an emotion she enjoyed in the least. She despised feeling irrationally angry and out of control. Which, naturally, led her to be angry with Castle for making him feel that way.

Due to her own inner turmoil, she went directly home after making her arrest and didn't speak with him until he showed up at her apartment that evening. She briefly considered pretending not to be home, but realized that was completely childish. When she opened the door, she drew satisfaction from his rejected puppy dog expression.

"You were right," he began, stepping into her apartment. "I definitely should not have kissed Serena, but I didn't plan on it—I swear it!"

"And how many other people will you kiss without planning on it?" she asked as she folded her arms over her chest.

"NONE! None I promise! Just, okay, okay how about you ban me from undercover operations? Wait-" he said quickly, a grimace crossing his face. "No, please don't ban me from those; those are awesome. Oh! Ban me from undercover ops when we're not going together!" He concluded with a smile.

"That's not the point, Castle," she sighed, walking into her living room. "What if you…I don't know…what if you meet someone who…who you…" She could feel her face flush with heat as her worst fears came to the surface; she was unable to finish her thought.

"Kate," he said softly as he approached her. He placed a hand on each of her shoulders. "I _promise_ you that I'm not going anywhere. There's no one else. There could be no one else. I promise." With that, he leaned down and kissed her. When he pulled back, she wore a soft smile. "Okay?"

"Okay," she repeated, though somewhat reluctantly.

"Great! Now to complete my groveling…" He wiggled his eyebrows enticingly before pulling a small black velvet box from his jacket pocket.

She looked at it and then back at him. "What's this?"

"A present."

"What is it?"

"Open it."

Skeptical, Kate took the box and opened it to find square stud earrings made up of nine tiny gems. Though they could have been fake, given the flashy nature of her boyfriend, she assumed them to be real. Chewing on her bottom lip, she looked up at him. "Castle, you didn't have to-"

"Yes, I did," he assured her. "Besides, I've never given you jewelry before. Think of them as a very belated birthday present."

She blinked at him. "You gave me concert tickets for my birthday."

"Yes but this is what I should have given you," he said with an ever-growing smile.

With a sigh, Kate stood on her toes and kissed him. "Thank you."

"Always," he smiled at her.


	5. Chapter 5

**FIVE**

Standing in the elevator on the way up to Castle's loft, her hand firmly in his, Kate allowed herself a moment to shut her eyes and reflect on the day. To call it strenuous would have been an insult. Even "life altering" didn't feel enough of a descriptor.

The morning had begun slightly off-beat when she had to retrieve her own coffee after a text from Castle told her he had errands to run that morning. A few hours later, she received a phone call from him begging for entertainment since his errands ended up being taking his mother to the bank to get a loan. It was then everything began to fall apart.

An hour later, she stood in an emergency response mobile unit outside that very bank as her life—her entire existence—crumbled around her. Castle and his mother were hostages. The hostage takers demanded communication with only her, a homicide detective with no more than the cursory course in hostage negotiation from the academy, which was not nearly enough training for her interrogator-trained brain.

Though she knew they would not help, she could not stop the horrid scenarios from spinning through her mind. She wasn't there with him; they weren't together. This was not a situation her brain knew how to process. They were partners. In it together—always. Separation was unacceptable.

When he had used Morse Code to communicate with them from inside the bank, she was inexplicably proud, but the excitement of being able to see him when removing the hostage who had fallen ill vanished immediately at the discovery that plastic explosives were inside the bank. Suddenly, the situation was much worse than the worst case scenario.

When a hostage taker named Trapper John threatened Castle's life, her stomach began to churn. She felt the anger, the fear, the hate sear through every each of her—every vein in her body. Her gut wrenched over and over and her skin perspired at the thought of losing him and the sheer audacity of someone to even suggest such an egregious act. In that moment, there was no question in her mind that were he to take Castle's life, she would make it her sole mission to hunt him down to the ends of the earth and cause him as slow and as suffering a death as she was capable of.

The elevator jolting to a stop at Castle's floor sent Kate back to the moment when the C-4 in the bank went off. She was convinced that the reverberations from the bomb in her chest would actually stop her heart. It was the closest to death she'd ever felt through all the gunfire and hand-to-hand combat she'd faced on the force. For a moment, her perspective was bleak, but she almost instantly pushed that from her mind, though the smoke pouring out of the shattered bank windows did not aid in her belief of Castle's safety.

Seeing him seated in the vault area was the greatest relief of her life. It took every ounce of her self-control to merely reach out and stroke the lapel of his jacket instead of throwing herself on top of him and kissing him senseless. Though she'd refrained from any unprofessional physical contact with him to that point, she could not help but slip her hand in his as they waited to hear about the safety of the little boy and his mother.

There, in the hallway of his apartment, she knew she could not wait any longer. A foot from his front door, she pushed him against the wall and kissed him with every ounce of passion she had in her body. Had it been physically possible to use her mind to rid them both of their clothing, she probably would have done so. As they were presently in a public area, it was fortunate that was not actually an ability she possessed.

"Wow," he commented when she pulled back from him. "I should almost die more often."

She gave him a very serious look. "Not funny, Castle."

He smiled, kissed her forehead, and then led the way into his apartment, where they were met almost immediately by Martha. "Ahh, there she is! Come here my darling girl! Our savior." Martha pulled Kate into a smothering hug and spun her around.

"Martha, really, I was just doing my job," she said with a slight laugh.

"That may be, but we still must celebrate!"

Martha led the way to the dinner table where an elaborate display of food had been laid out. As they ate, she took it upon herself to recount her version of the harrowing tale that was the hostage situation and subsequent bomb survival. From the expressions on Castle's face, Kate could tell that Martha's tale contained more than one exaggerated truth, but she chose not to draw attention to any of them. Besides, she decided, who was she to interrupt? Martha did tell one hell of a story.

As the meal came to a close, Kate watched as Castle spoke with his daughter in hushed tones as they stood by the kitchen sink. She knew Alexis had broken up with her boyfriend that evening, and, despite her overwhelming desire not to leave Castle's side, she did not wish to intrude on the family any longer than necessary in case Alexis did not feel comfortable with her presence. She decided to do whatever was necessary to help clean up dinner and put away the leftovers and then make her escape.

Just as Kate placed the last Tupperware container into the fridge, Martha took Alexis by the arm and led her to the edge of the kitchen. "Alexis, dear, do you know the best way to get over heartache?"

"Didn't you always say it was wine?"

Martha considered this for a moment. "Possibly, but you cannot partake in that quite yet, my dear. How about I draw you a nice, luxurious bubble bath instead. Go on up, Dear; I'll be there in a moment." As Alexis ascended the stairs, Martha turned to her son and his guest. "There now we'll be out of your hair so you two can have some privacy."

Castle's jaw dropped as he glanced briefly at Kate and then to his mother. "Mother we don't-"

"There's no sense acting surprised—I know."

"You know?" he asked, his voice half an octave higher. "About what?"

"Richard, please," Martha said with a dramatic hand gesture between the two of them. "I know about you two and your…" Again, she gestured between them.

Castle took a step forward as his heart rate sped. "Mother I don't-"

"I don't understand why you bother to deny it; it wasn't that hard to figure out," Martha said with a shrug. "Quite frankly, it's thrilling. It has been a long time coming, of course. And it's obvious since Beckett's Captain isn't your biggest fan you have to keep this thing a secret—makes sense to me, but that doesn't mean you have to keep it a secret here, in this apartment. Good night!" And, with a wave of her hand, she followed he granddaughter up the stairs.

Castle turned to Kate to see she was wearing a small smile. "Smart woman," she said, nodding towards the stairs.

"Yeah, too smart," he muttered. Then with a sigh he added, "I'm sorry."

"I'm not," she replied. Then, she reached out, picked up his hand, and walked him out of the kitchen, across the foyer, and into his bedroom. Behind them, she shut the door. Then, she walked over to the office and shut that door as well. She returned to sit on the bed a few feet from him, where he stood with a befuddled expression.

"I've been thinking," she began as she leaned over and removed her right shoe. "For the past few months, I've been thinking about us—wondering what if it doesn't work? What if it's not right?" She paused to remove her left shoe. "Then today I realized how can it ever work if we never really even try? If I never try."

With her shoes removed, she kicked them to the end of the bed, stood, and began to undo the buttons on her shirt. Before she was halfway through, his hand closed over hers. "Kate, if it's still too soon, I don't want you to regret-"

She shook her head. "If today taught me anything, it's that not doing this is something I'd regret."

Without any further ceremony, she pulled her shirt up over her head and tossed it beside her shoes. She unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans, pushed them from her hips and let them fall to the floor. She stepped out of them and kicked them aside before turning and pulling back the bedcovers.

Kate slid to the center of the bed before stretching out on her side and facing him. She stared at him for several moments as he looked at her with a peculiar expression. Not sure if it was concern or simply pure amazement, she added, "I've wanted you to make love to me for longer than you know, Richard Castle; don't make me wait any longer."

As if that particular statement had come in the form of an electric shock to the back of the neck, Castle stepped forward and began to strip down as well. Once he remained only in his boxers, he slid under the covers and joined her in the center of the bed. He skimmed his hand up her bare arm to her shoulder and then back down to her elbow, which he squeezed. "You're the most incredible woman in the world, you know that right?"

Her response was to simply smile and pull him towards her using her hand at the base of his neck. She had been waiting for that exact moment for arguably her entire life, but most certainly ever since they left the still smoldering bank that afternoon. After that blast, no more question existed in her mind. She had to have him—it was as simple as that.

Holding her in his arms. Caressing her skin. Kissing her breasts. Feeling the heat between her legs. Castle could hardly believe he retained consciousness through all those things. He'd wanted her for so long—dreamed about it so much he could practically taste it—but all those fantasies paled in comparison to the real, magnificent thing.

When it was over, and they lay facing each other in his bed, Castle saw the subtle, sated smile on her face and knew that he would be happy in that exact position for the rest of his life. He pressed a kiss onto her forehead and she let out a gentle sigh. "Castle?"

"Hmm?"

"Can I stay here tonight?"

He let out a breathy laugh. "You even have to ask?"

She lifted her head enough to look at him. "Well, I wasn't sure…because of Alexis."

"Kate, think of how long you've known me—how much you know about me. You really think the woman I've worked with day after day for three years coming out of my bedroom in the morning is going to be the thing that pushes Alexis over the edge?"

"Right," she conceded to this, having momentarily pushed Castle's scandalous history from her mind.

"I will, of course, have to wake you at five so that you can leave before she even sees you which is standard polic-AAH! I'm kidding!" he yelped when she clawed her nails into his ribcage.

Smile on her face, she rolled over and spooned herself against him. After tucking his arm around her waist she sighed out a contented, "Goodnight Castle," before drifting off to sleep.


	6. Chapter 6

**SIX**

Castle awoke with a start and then instantaneously moaned feeling the throbbing and thickness in his head. Had he been drinking the night before? He couldn't remember, but he didn't _think_ he had been. He'd been dreaming about falling or jumping, but that was the only thing his fuzzy mind could recall.

Rolling his head to look up at the ceiling, he immediately realized something was amiss. He could feel Kate in bed beside him, but whose bed was this? It was far too uncomfortable to be his mattress, and hers, while not as luxurious as his, was far from this horrible. Perhaps, he thought briefly, he was still dreaming.

He moved his hands to his face only to discover that he was unable to move his left arm. It was pinned or obstructed by something. "What the-" he muttered to himself as he lifted his right arm straight in the air. In doing so, he realized it was attached to another arm by a pair of handcuffs. "Uh oh."

His speaking managed to rouse his mattress companion and she began to stir, mumbling out his name and reaching her hand out for him. He rolled on his side to face her and shook their conjoined arms gently. "Wake up Kate, wake up."

"Castle wha-" Interrupting her own thought, she sat upright with a gasp. "Where the hell are we?"

Castle looked around the dimly lit, dank smelling room. "I don't know, but if this was a scene in one of my books, this would be a place where bad things happened."

"Not helping. God, my head is pounding. Wha…whats the last thing you remember?" she asked him.

Castle thought for a moment. "I…I don't know. It's kind of a blur. Oh, oh—we woke up at your place."

"Right."

"And…and you said we didn't have enough time to have sex before you went to work."

She groaned. "Think of something helpful, Castle."

"You didn't say think of something helpful—you asked what the last thing I remembered was and I remembered that because I disagreed; we had plenty of time."

"Really, Castle? Again with this? I'm sorry but we just can't have sex twice a day every day."

"But," he said, bringing his face close to her neck, "I thought you like it when we-"

"Castle! Focus! Please!"

"Well what's the last thing you remember?" he asked with a mixture of annoyance and exasperation.

Kate thought for a moment. "A body…a body at that seedy motel."

"Yes…I remember now. And we followed the leads and it led us to that house with the-"

"Creepy old woman!" they said in unison.

"Okay," castle continued. "Anything after that?"

Kate shook her head. "No, I don't think so. Someone must have jumped us from behind or something."

"Yeah, that makes the—hey what are you doing?" he asked as she went to stand, wrenching his arm in the process. He stood as well and looked annoyed. "We're attached, remember? You can't just go stomping around in your Kate Beckett way."

"I don't stomp," she retorted. Then, she walked off in the opposite direction, once again wrenching his arm. "Would you just follow me!"

"That's all I ever do—follow you. Would it kill you to let me lead for once?"

"What is that supposed to mean? You've made it your job to follow me! That's our whole," she gestured dramatically between them with her free hand, "thing."

"Yes, but in this one instance, would it kill you to let me lead?"

"Do you have a plan?"

He was silent for a moment before offering, "Um…get out of the creepy room?"

"Castle!"

After bickering for several more moments, they managed to work together and find the light switch to the room. Unfortunately, this did not improve their situation due to the fact that it only succeeded in making the creepy, subterranean room look even worse. The door was reinforced metal, the windows too high to reach (and too small to escape from) and the walls appeared impenetrable.

Their only source of hope came from the hatch Kate spotted in the roof. Across the room, they found a metal chest, which she believed they could use to raise them high enough to reach the trap door. Unfortunately, the chest was padlocked shut and too heavy to move in its current state. When Castle proudly announced that, due to his safecracker training, he could open the lock, she remained skeptical; however, since it was their only plan, she dutifully sat beside him on the floor and held out her arm so that he could use both of his hands together.

After his fifteenth failed attempt to unlock the combination lock, Castle sat back on his heels with a sigh. Knowing that too much concentration was equally as bad as too little, he decided he needed a two minute break. He looked over at his handcuff companion, expecting a judgmental remark about his lack of lock-breaking skills, but instead noticed her staring out into the distance, obviously deep in thought. "What are you thinking?"

She looked over to him. "Nothing."

"Yes, you are."

"No, it's nothing. I'm just wondering what's in this chest."

Sitting cross-legged on the floor beside her, Castle took her hand in his. "Kate, I know you. I know something is on your mind. What is it? You can tell me anything, you know that, right?"

She smiled and gave his hand a gentle squeeze. "Yeah, I know. I was just…thinking about this, us, me, my life. I mean…we're locked in some godforsaken room, handcuffed together."

"You do take me to the most exotic places," he interjected with a smile.

Groaning, she sat up straighter. "I'm serious! This is my life and it's ridiculous and I…I drag you along with me."

"First, let's be clear—I come willingly. Second, okay we were kidnapped by crazy people, I'll give you that, but you're not Lois Lane. Your life is not and endless series of kidnappings, poisoning and near death scenarios. You're a cop; a certain amount of bizarre just comes with the job."

Despite his attempt at rationalization, Kate did not feel better. "But that's my point I mean…what if I was a boring accountant. Would you still…would you still be here?" Those thoughts, those fears entered her head frequently, but she preferred to keep them to herself. Saying them out loud—saying them to him—made the possibility that they were true all the more real.

Castle pulled her hand closer to his body. "Kate, I'm not attracted to you because of your job. I'm with you for an endless number of reasons; your job isn't even on the list."

"Nikki Heat never could have been an accountant," she pointed out.

"No, but she would have made a damn good stripper—ah!" he yelped when she smacked his arm. "C'mon I was kidding—lighten up!" He was silent for a moment, but then sighed. "Okay, I'll tell you what you want to hear—no, if you were accountant I probably wouldn't have written a book based on you…unless you were an accountant-slash-super villain, but what does that matter? You're not an accountant and even if you were you could never be boring. If you quit your job tomorrow and you worked at an office nine-to-five it wouldn't change a thing, except, you know, I'd miss you more because I couldn't follow you around all day."

At his dopey smile, Kate couldn't help but grin. She did not know how he possessed the magic power of making her laugh in any situation, but she hoped that he never lost it. She leaned forward, kissed him soundly, and then gestured towards the lock. "C'mon Castle. Sixteenth time's the charm."

"You know," he began, scooting back to the lock. "If we ever get out of here we should use the cuffs for real."

"For real what? Like when I arrest you?"

"No, for real for play. You know, in bed."

She blinked at him. "You want to use handcuffs in bed?"

"Why not? Could be fun."

Kate hesitated. She had never before used handcuffs in bed and, truth be told, she wasn't sure she even wanted to. Her sexual relationship with Castle was new and while it was incredible, it had only been eight weeks since their first time together (okay, eight weeks and two days—but who was counting?). She wasn't quite sure if she was ready to try something that adventurous with him, but his flirtatious smile won her over. "Okay, Castle. I'll make you a deal: we make it out of here alive and you get handcuffs in the bedroom."

"Excellent motivation!" He announced before turning back to the lock. "Prepare to be amazed, Detective."


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N: this chapter is M rated**

* * *

 **SEVEN**

"So did you bring them?" Eager did not even begin to describe Castle's mood when Kate walked into his study that evening. He'd been dreaming—okay, fantasizing—about that moment all day, ever since they'd agreed that this would be the night Kate would make good on her previous promise.

"Did I bring what?" she replied innocently.

He stood from his desk and walked towards her. "You know what."

She lifted her right hand and he caught a glimpse of silver. "Oh you mean these?"

He smiled a Cheshire Cat like smile. "Yes, those. Gimmie," he said, holding out his palm hand up and repeatedly opened and closed his fingers.

She lifted her hand up high and away from him. "No way."

His shoulders slumped. "Yes. C'mon we agreed."

"We did no such thing."

"Yes, we agreed. Give me the cuffs please!"

"No."

He approached her slowly, like a jungle cat hunting prey. "You realize I can just take them from you." Kate let out a bark of laughter and his brow furrowed. "You don't believe me?"

"Oh, I believe you'll try; I know you won't succeed," she replied. Then, to—quite literally—dangle the bait, she held up her right hand and let one of the cuffs swing loose. It swayed back and forth and Castle watched it for a moment before looking at her.

"Is that a challenge?" he asked. He'd seen her do it so many times; it seemed like a piece of cake. He attempted to fake reach for the cuffs with his left hand, but then spin around behind her and grab them from behind with his right, though his plan failed miserably. She caught his left arm and had him spun around with the cuffs around his wrist and left arm trapped behind his back before he even realized what happened. "Okay, so maybe that wasn't a well thought out plan."

"Ya think, Castle?" she said chuckling and tightening the cuffs simply because she could.

He groaned. "Right. Just remember my safe word is-"

"I know what your safe word is; you told me the first time I cuffed you."

"See," he said, turning to face her since her grip had slackened, "that's all the more reason that I should be the one to cuff you. You've already cuffed me—multiple times."

She leaned away from him and folded her arms over her chest. "Yeah, as I was arresting you! Is that something you really want to brag about right now?" He gave a non-committal shrug and turned his gaze towards the carpet. Kate sighed. "Are you going to pout about this?"

He looked back up at her with his best puppy-dog-eyes expression. "No, I just don't understand why you won't let me have the cuffs. It's like you don't trust me."

She groaned at him. "Fine. Here." She gestured for him to spin, and he did so. After releasing his hand from the cuffs, she passed them over to him. He took them as though a young child would take a long-promised piece of candy.

"Excellent. And the key so you can't Houdini your way out of them."

Again, she grumbled. As she pressed the key into his palm, she warned, "Fine but don't you dare lose that key. I don't want to have to explain this to anyone."

"What do you mean? If I did lose the key – which I promise I won't – Ryan or Esposito would help us."

Kate's eyes widened at the pure horror of that potential situation. "I'd rather call Gates then one of those two – we'd _never_ hear the end of it. Besides, we can't call any of those people because, hello, they can't know about us."

Castle considered this for a moment. "Right. Well I'm just going to put this safely over here." He set the key on the edge of his desk before holding up the cuffs with a devilish grin. "Now, turn around please." When she didn't react right away he said with a softer tone, "You do trust me, right Kate? You know I'd never do anything to hurt you and if you want me to stop, I will."

She rounded her shoulders and dropped her chin towards her chest. "I know—and of course I trust you. I just…" _don't like giving up control_ , she finished inside her head. In lieu of finishing her statement, Kate simply turned around and placed her hands behind her back in a position where he could latch the cuffs on to them. Once the cool metal encircled her wrists, she felt her stomach clench with nerves. She did trust him and knew he'd stop if she asked him to, but she just felt, well, silly and a bit ridiculous, particularly since she'd never put herself in that type of situation before.

"Hmm," Castle sighed.

Kate turned around to face him and saw that he was rubbing his chin with his left index finger and thumb. "Problem Castle?"

"It's just…I realize now that your cuffed I won't be able to get your shirt or bra off. I'm trying to decide if I care about that."

"By all means, take your time…"

"No, this will work," he determined. Then, before she had another second to protest, he scooped her up around the waist and carried her into the bedroom. He set her down just a foot from the side of the bed and turned her so that she faced the bed and he faced her back. He placed his hands on her shoulders and skimmed them down her arms and joined his hands in front of her belly. Hovering his chin just above her shoulder, he asked softly ear. "Before we begin, would you like to choose a safe word?"

"Stop or I'll shoot you," she replied dryly.

Unfazed by her snark, he skimmed his hands down over her hips and joined them in between her legs. When he pressed his hand up into her crotch she gasped lightly and he grinned. "It has to be one word. Plus you don't have a gun."

"Fine. Orange."

Picking up on her "apples and oranges" joke, he began to caress his hands across her inner thighs. "You know, Kate, I'm beginning to get the feeling you think this is silly."

She stepped forward and turned to face him. "Because I do. I never got the appeal of the whole…cuffed thing."

"Then allow me to change your mind," he said simply. Before she had a chance to rebut, he unbuttoned and unzipped her jeans and pushed them down off her hips along with her panties. Quite frankly, they were just going to get in his way the longer they were on. Once she was completely nude from the waist down, yet still fully clothed from the waist up, he gestured for her to sit on the bed.

Castle knelt down in front of her, bringing his lips to the inner edge of her right knee and slowly kissed, nipped and licked his way towards her center. When he was about an inch away, he moved his lips back to her left knee and repeated the process, once again stopping before reaching any location too exciting. He gazed up to gauge her reaction and decided that she was annoyed, but not tortured—yet.

He stood from the ground and rearranged several pillows against the headboard so that she could lean back at a forty-five degree angle. He climbed on the bed on the other side of her and lifted her shirt up enough to expose the cups of her bra. He could tell she was giving him a "betcha wish you let me take my shirt off" look, but he purposely ignored it.

He reached around behind her and unhooked her bra, giving him enough slack to push the cups away from her hidden flesh. He began with just an index finger, tracing lazy circles around her nipple. Then, adding in his thumb, he rolled it to a stiff peak before brushing his thumb back and forth, back and forth across the very tip. After repeating the action on her other breast, he noticed she was beginning to chew on the inside of her lip. Castle smiled to himself, knowing how she liked to touch herself when he played with her breasts.

He lowered his lips to her jaw and placed a few light kisses at the base before whispering, "Having fun yet?"

Pulling back he saw that she looked even more irritated, which amused him endlessly. After kissing her roughly, he moved his lips down to her right nipple. Closing his lips around it, he sucked earnestly for several moments before letting it go with the pop of his lips and mirroring the action on the other side. He trailed his lips down the center of her belly until they were even with her hip bones and then stopped and looked at her.

Castle sat back on his heels and gently skimmed his right hand over the top of her right thigh. As his hand began to crest the edge of the top of her leg, she widened her legs for him. His fingertip came to rest at the very edge of her lips and he rubbed it gently up and down. Upon realizing just how wet she was, he pressed his finger a bit harder against her and heard his favorite sound in the world: her moan.

Realizing he was achieving exactly what he wanted, he joined his index and middle fingers together and pressed them inside her, though only to the second knuckle. Withdrawing his fingers, he traced the edge of her lips again before pressing them inside once more, all the while purposely avoiding her most sensitive spot.

"Castle," she growled finally. "Please."

"Please what?"

"Stop teasing me."

"Nope," he responded proudly. Normally, he had no problem assisting her to a rapid orgasm (which was typically the first of many, particularly on some of the marathon evenings they'd had), but the cuffs changed things. It was his choice when she came and he was going to make her wait just a little longer.

He stood from the bed and shed his clothing as quickly as he could. Once undressed, he placed one knee on the bed, but she was too quickly for him. She used her feet to knock him off balance; he landed with his back flat on the mattress. Momentarily stunned, he lay there as she maneuvered on her knees and attempted to straddle him.

"Really?" he responded, mildly annoyed. "How did you take me down while still handcuffed?"

She beamed. "Years of practice. Now, if I can just," she rolled over on to her hip and began shimmying her arms down over her butt.

Realizing she was trying to get her cuffed hands in front of her body, Castle quickly pinned her down, back to the mattress. "This isn't Escape 101, Kate."

"Then would you just ugh!" she let out a frustrated groan.

"Would I just what?"

"Just…"

His tone gentle, not demanding, he requested, "Just say it, Kate."

She breathed out sharply through her nose, obviously disliking the admission. "Just make me come!"

"There. Now was that so hard?" he said with a delicious smile. He lowered his lips to her abdomen and began kissing his way towards the juncture in her legs.

Ignoring him for a moment, Kate stared at the ceiling. "You mean, you wanted me to—ah!" she gasped when his tongue finally reached the spot she'd been wishing for.

"You see, Kate," he said, momentarily pausing his actions, "sometimes it's nice to ask for things instead of demanding them."

"You mean—ah—you don't like tha—oh!—I—God, Castle," she yelped when his teeth scraped against her flesh.

Again, he looked up. "In general, Kate, I have absolutely no complains about our sex life. I'm just saying _sometimes_ it's okay to mix things up a bit."

"Okay okay," she gasped. "Just please don't stop."

Obeying her wishes, Castle pressed his lips against her flesh once more and did not remove them again until she cried out and he felt her body trembling beneath his. He began to travel his lips back up her torso, over her chest and jaw until he finally reached her lips. "So. Do you still hate the cuffs?"

"No, I think," she paused and contorted her face for a moment before bringing her hands up and looping them around his head, "you've made your point."

Castle's jaw dropped. "How the hell did you do that?"

"Easy," she replied. "Plus you didn't cuff me that tight."

"Houdini," he muttered under his breath.

"Castle," she began, her tone serious. "Are you sure you're okay with how I-"

He cut her off with a kiss. "You know what you want and you're not afraid to get it, Detective. Who am I to complain about that?"


	8. Chapter 8

**EIGHT**

"So, how are we going to do this?" Kate asked her couch companion.

He glanced up from his iPad. "Do what?"

Kate sat up from her reclined position, crossed her legs in front of her, and put her magazine on the coffee table. They were relaxing together in Castle's loft as they often did Friday nights. Their relationship secrecy rule made it impossible for them to go on too many regular dates, especially not to places where the paparazzi might see them, but Kate didn't mind; she preferred spending time at home with him. "Ryan and Jenny's wedding tomorrow night."

"Oh." Castle flipped the cover back on his iPad and placed the tablet on the cushion between them. "Well, I figured I'd wear a black suit and you could wear some kind of dress."

She gave him one of her infamous perturbed expressions. "Castle."

He chuckled. "What?"

"I'm serious! You send back your RSVP card saying you weren't taking anyone, right?"

"Wait! That's what I was supposed to say!?" he said, feigning confusion. She picked up a throw pillow from behind her and chucked it at him. He caught it with a laugh. "Yes, yes; they think I'm going stag. You know we can just go together, right? I mean its Ryan and Jenny—they won't think it's weird."

"No," Kate corrected, "we cannot. We have to go alone and then make it look like we just decide to spend the reception together. Kind of. Casually."

"What if I kind of casually want to spend the reception with Esposito?"

"So what? You can be his wing man?"

Castle shrugged. "Or he can be mine—purely to keep up appearances, of course."

She shook her head. "Wow. It's like you never want to have sex again."

He laughed and leaned forward, grabbing her legs and pulling her towards him. He stretched out beside her and kissed her cheek despite her still irritated expression. "C'mon lighten up! You know I don't need Esposito to be my wing man."

"Ah!" he yelped when she elbowed him in the ribs. "Okay, okay I won't even look at another woman at the wedding—except the bride, of course; but only because it would be rude not to."

"Yeah yeah." She muttered, though she was just teasing him.

He kissed her cheek again. "C'mon I'll massage your feet."

Her expression brightened at that offer. "Well, actually, can I take a rain check until tomorrow night? I'll need it more then."

"Good point. Rain check accepted!"

* * *

With Ryan and Jenny's wedding starting promptly at 6:30, Castle arrived at the church at quarter after and waited dutifully in the vestibule for his date-but-not. He stood there for only a few moments before the clicking of heels on the church's stone steps alerted him to her arrival. She approached in a sleek gray number, which was completely church-appropriate yet hugged her figure in all the right places, and her traditional sky-high heels. When he caught her eye, they both smiled.

"Why, Detective, you're looking beautiful as always." He resisted the urge to kiss her cheek by clasping his hands together in front of him.

She instinctually brushed her fingertips against the flat of the lapel on his tuxedo. "You don't look so bad yourself, Castle."

"Thank you but, seriously, that dress." He skimmed his hips with his eyes and then leaned in close and lowered his voice significantly. "Are—are you not wearing panties?"

She did a double-take in his direction. Flabbergasted she stammered at him. "Why would I—this is a _Catholic church_!"

"Well, yeah, but-"

"They're called Spanx, Castle."

He grimaced. "Well those are decidedly unsexy compared to going commando."

She merely shrugged. "Sorry, Babe, but you're the boyfriend now and those are the facts."

He sighed. "Well, I guess that means I can admit that I'm also wearing Spanx."

Kate laughed loudly. "I'm sure."

He smiled and then lowered his tone once more. "Seriously, about going commando, would you-"

She cut him off by saying in a tone a bit louder than was necessary, "Kevin! Hi!" She rushed forward and gave the groom a warm hug. "How are you feeling?"

"Great! Really great! I'm so glad you both could make it!" He hugged Castle as well before going off to greet his other guests.

Kate and Castle exchanged looks. "Well, I guess we should go take our seats." Castle concluded before holding out his arm to her. Kate slipped hers through the crook of his elbow and allowed him to lead her up the aisle and to the seats the usher pointed them towards. Their seats ended up in the row behind Lanie and her guest, who they chatted with until the ceremony began.

As Kate watched Jenny walk down the aisle and Ryan smiling back at her, she felt a tear escaping the corner of her eye. She lifted her hand quickly to brush it away and immediately felt something thrust in to her lap. Looking down, she saw one of Castle's white monogramed handkerchiefs. She glanced at him, he smiled, and she smiled back, picking up the item and using it to dab her cheek.

While Ryan and Jenny exchanged vows, Kate reached over and picked up Castle's hand. She laced their fingers together and rested them on the pew, between both of their thighs. True, someone could have seen them, but she hoped that most people's attention was focused on the couple at the front of the room. Besides, she was glad to be sharing that moment with him, her boyfriend, the man who, she allowed herself one brief moment to think, might possibly be the one she stood in front of a church of people with one day.

* * *

After a cocktail hour during which she and Castle stuffed themselves full of delicious food, the dance floor opened and was immediately filled with Ryan and Jenny's relatives. Castle insisted that the two of them dance, but Kate remained skeptical. In the end, Castle won her over by saying that they were partners; it would be weird if they _didn't_ share at least one dance together.

As the upbeat song switched to a slower one, Kate began to walk off the dance floor, but Castle held her back. "C'mon, Kate; please."

She looked at him, the other guests dancing close, and then back to him. "I just don't think we-"

"I have an idea," he insisted before grabbing her hand and walking towards the back of the room.

* * *

"Espo! Espo!" Ryan called to his partner, who was sulking at his table watching Lanie dance with her guest. "Where are Castle and Beckett? I want to get a picture of the four of us together."

"Uh," Esposito said, standing and scanning the room. "I think I just saw Beckett go out in the hall. Maybe she went to the restroom?"

"Then where's Castle?" Ryan asked.

"Around here somewhere, I guess."

Together, they scanned the room with no avail. Esposito walked out into the hallway and Ryan followed closely behind. When they rounded the corner towards the bathroom, Esposito saw the two of them standing together in the hall. For a moment, he was confused, wondering what they were doing when he realized they were swaying along to the music, which could faintly be heard in that hallway.

He was just about to call out their names when Castle leaned in and kissed Kate on the lips. She kissed back and was wearing a huge grin when their lips separated. Stunned, Esposito stood slack-jawed for a moment before he felt his arm being pulled in the opposite direction. He turned and saw Ryan dragging him back towards the reception area. "But!"

"Just let 'em have this one, Javi," Ryan concluded wisely. "We'll get pictures later."

"But-but! Castle and Beckett!"

Ryan scoffed. "Like you don't want them together."

Esposito stopped walking. "What's that supposed to mean!?"

"It means what it means."

"But you make me sound like a chick!" Esposito insisted with utmost offense. "They should be together, but I don't _want_ them to be together."

"Whatever man," Ryan said with a slight laugh. "Just be happy for them."

Esposito adjusted his suit jacket and straightened his tie. "I am happy for them, but I don't have to be in a love haze like you are."

Ryan scoffed again. "Love haze. Please. I'm not…yeah, I'm in a love haze," he conceded at his partner's suspicious stare. "Let's just get back in there and pretend we didn't see anything. That's obviously what they want."

"Yeah…wonder how long they've been…"

Ryan shook his head. "I don't know, but they'll tell us when they're ready."

* * *

"We should get back, Castle," Kate hummed against her partner's ear when she heard the song playing switched from a slow tempo one to more upbeat.

He sighed and gave her waist a squeeze. "I know."

She slid from his arms and began walking back towards the reception, but he stopped her by grabbing onto her hand and saying, "Wait, just a second." When she turned back to him, curious, he continued. "I just…I just wanted to say that I'm glad to be your date tonight."

Her brow wrinkled. "What does that mean? Did you think I'd go with Espo instead?"

"No, no, I just…I'm just trying to say that I'm really happy that we're dating now—really happy. I love that I get to do this with you—I love all the stuff we do together. I love…you; I love you." He repeated, his voice stronger that time.

Her heart fluttering in her chest, a grin spread across Kate's face. "I love you too, Castle."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah." She confirmed. "Now let's get back in there and have some cake." She reached down and grabbed his hand to pull him along behind her and he didn't hesitate to follow.

* * *

-fin-

* * *

 **A/N** : sorry for the rather abrupt ending guys, but as I said originally, this was a fic from 2 yrs ago that I resurrected per request. It wasn't exactly "finished" but this is where I stopped and so it is what it is

i really do appreciate everyone reading/reviewing - I'm very glad to see how much you guys liked this, particularly since I never intended on posting it!

Up next - 2 short fics: The 'darker' version of _The Illusion of Perfect_ as well as a 3-part "Rise" AU

Thanks again!


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